Updated: Sep 28, 2021
Of course, there are some infatuation stories in between, but the next big love story was unpredictable. It happened during my sophomore year of college. I was in Wahpeton, North Dakota. I was involved with someone who everyone thought was my opposite, but man, I loved this type of boys at the time (so I thought). Yes, I said, boy. He was built on survival, and I always was looking for somebody to heal. It took me a while to realize, but I hurt myself in the process every time I would try to heal somebody. (It's not your job to fix anyone but yourself.) I never told anybody back home about this particular story because they don't play about me, but we legit was about to throw hands. If you know me, I don't talk when I'm about to pop off; I start shaking. This boy was so hurt he told me, "fuck yo dead daddy and yo brothers." So yall can only imagine how I was trying to get active on him. People were holding me back and holding him back at the time. Anybody that ever seen me get there can on imagine. I got out of the grip of a 200+ offensive lineman, and yall know their job is to block. I saw red.
But this story isn't about him; it's about a man who has the same nickname as me. We have the same passion for the game. This man put up 50+ points in our gym, banged his set the entire time, and put on for his city. He matched my energy and passion. We talked all day, every day, even when we both graduated and moved from North Dakota. We both made each other a priority day in and day out. I didn't want to fall because, man, I'm not too fond of the long-distance thing, but you reassured me this would be different. You reassured me it was okay to love you.
It was time for us to pick schools to go to once we graduated from juco. You had tons of offers after your extraordinary season. I had a few but no D1's. I remember you telling me I went hard, but I should have gone harder. It was a hard pill to swallow but real. I saw how hard you went and the time you put in. You would go to the gym while on the phone with me and MAKE 500 shots every day. The game was your lifeline but only my passion. You give your all to the game day in and day out, and it shows even 'til this day in how you play and the time you put in.
I don't think I wasted my time, but I did get so wrapped up in time. It wasn't the right time. If I knew we would never speak again, I wouldn't have hung up the phone. If I knew the first time I came to LA that would be the last time I would see you, I would have stayed. If I knew that would be the last time I saw you, I would have held you closer. This Love haunted me for years, but as the years passed, I began to understand and make my peace with it.